|
|
January 11, 2005
 My part-time guest stint on Fleshbot is now over and I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm breathing a little sigh of relief. That shit is hard, least of all the actual writing part. I only had to do six posts a day but the detail and double-checking that goes into each one to make sure the links hadn't been posted before and that there's enough supplementary content to make a meaty post (sorry, it's unavoidable) was infinitely more time-consuming in comparison to my Gawker guest-editing. It was also quite numbing to stare at all that porn and it becomes a bit much to start the day with cereal and a "roast beef sandwich." In spite of all that, I made it out alive by developing survival techniques (or just one) which involved an absurd sense of setting up the material. Here are some admittedly painful phrases I used almost exclusively for my own amusement: "Vika gets off on the rocks by the ocean, Marlena hoses herself off, and Zuzanna just plain wets herself." [Wet Trio] "Word of advice: knee pads." [Hot 4 Hog-Tie] "The Swiss are known for the delicate art of accurate timekeeping and political neutrality." [Swiss Thong Federation] "We're not exactly sure what's going on here but it involves mesmerizing scenes abound with artistic themes of naked Asians, moving photography, and possibly hookers." [China Kaleidoscope] "It's a good thing Joni Mitchell never sang about 'shaving' paradise, otherwise we might not have all the hairy porn options that are currently available." [Hippie Goddess] "The 'Orange Revolution' has prevailed, a new leader has been elected, and Western freedoms will expand. Hopefully in the form of more nude pictorials for our sake." [Orange Revolution] "First we were greeted with Kirsten Dunst's boobs a-poppin' out of the water and now pictures are floating around of Anna Kournikova checking for sea shells by the seashore but finding nothing more than the proverbial balded clam." [Anna Kournikova's Yellow Peekini] "It took a full year but now we understand why Janet Jackson's nipple ring exposure was so wrong at the Super Bowl..." [Nipple Board] "Looks like fun, fun, fun 'til daddy took the T-Mobile away." [Hardcore Moblogging] "For a brief moment in time it was modern man's Holy Grail: The Quest for Mystery Booty." [Miss Reef Booty] "'Go to your bosom: Knock there, and ask your heart what it doth know' advises Isabella in Shakespeare's Measure for Measure." [Tit Knocking] Special thanks to the crew at Drunken Stepfather who emailed me daily encouragement (with useful links) and major props to Jonno who writes Fleshbot everyday. In an industry where a compliment like "hardest working person in the biz" gets thrown around more than a 90 lb Japanese 19 year old in a sailor suit, he's up there with the BDSM Papi Bear forniphiles. Flipper - "Sex Bomb" (8.98 MB) Krucoff.com powered by Removable Hype. Copyright © 2004 La Otra Página, Inc. All nights observed. Feel free to email "info(at)krucoff.com" for questions, comments, hunting tips, and family gossip. |
